Don’t you just love Corporate America?

tuning
Photo by MyCedes – A tuner car gone way too far… like 36DD far!

I was busy working on my upcoming workshop material when I got this in my inbox from my colleague, Thom. While most of us are able to detect internet hoaxes, what impressed me was how this was first circulated as a joke back in 1999, then appeared to be cited in a number of publications and has now earned the status of an urban myth. Don’t you wish it were true though?

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.” In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued an interesting press release:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would
have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run
on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal
Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

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